Late-Night Comics Target Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Visa Plan

Television's prominent hosts used the evening mocking former President Donald Trump's just launched immigration initiative, dubbed the "Trump card," characterizing it as a obvious pay-to-play system for the wealthy.

Colbert's Sarcastic Spin

Starting his program, Stephen Colbert offered a sardonic Christmas jingle about the president. "He's compiling a list, checking it twice, before handing that list to the officials at ICE," he intoned. "The President ... spoils all he comes into contact with."

The subject was the new plan that allows overseas individuals to purchase U.S. legal status for an investment of $1 million dollars, or "top-tier" option for five million. An official page guarantees processing "in record time."

"A brief thought for you to wealthy applicants: prior to you pay, maybe think about Canada?" Colbert joked.

He pointed out that the program is also intended to "squeeze cash" from businesses wishing to hire skilled workers, involving significant costs. "That is a lot of fees, though if you register, you additionally get free accommodation at a hotel of your selection – as long as it's the a specific Marriott," he said.

"The best screening the government has before done," said Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to make sure these individuals truly meet the standard to be in America."

"That is important, you have to prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert deadpanned. "The initial query: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Blistering Commentary

On his own program, Jimmy Kimmel referred to the initiative the "Get Into America Express Card."

"Here's a card that will allow wealthy foreigners to live here," he stated. "In exchange for a million bucks, you get official resident status, you get a route to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one serious crime of your selection."

"Perhaps it's time to change that poem on the Statue of Liberty – forget about your huddled masses. Give us a million bucks, you're in!" he remarked.

Kimmel mocked the lack of detail of the form, noting it is "more difficult to start a Wordle account." He lamented that Trump "sees citizenship is something you can sell, like a timeshare."

"Exactly, the finest people are the rich people," Kimmel said. "It's what Jesus constantly said! It's in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you offer the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers discussing Economic Issues

Meanwhile, Seth Meyers focused on Trump's declining approval ratings during financial anxiety. "The public gave Donald Trump a second term since they were mad about the economy," he said.

This week, in a effort to tackle affordability, Trump held a briefing in front of a display of food items, where he behaved strangely to boxes of cereal.

"These look great, I think I'm going to take a few of them back to my cottage and have a lot of fun," Trump stated. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a while."

"He's so extremely weird," Meyers said. "What do you mean, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What exactly happens with those Cheerios?"

Meyers wrapped up by mocking conservative news coverage of Trump's economic performance. "Perhaps rather than complaining, you should give him a shiny trophy like what FIFA did," he remarked.